Its All So Beautiful

*Dream Sequence Begins*

It was as if the clouds had been freshly washed and starched, and put up in the lovely blue sunny sky to dry. They were never as silky, and the breeze never so fragrant. Celebrating differences has its own magic. She found peace in my contentment, the contentment that had only been a dream for her so far. I found excitement in her search for it, the search that had always been alien to me.

I had become that proud happy person, whom every second man is jealous of. Having someone walk next to you, who is as hot as an F16 engine after an 8 hour sortie, can make hearts burn. I knew no limitations and no imperfection seemed too tough to get over. She could cherish my presence and I could walk through her dreams. Waking up every morning with her in my arms, and making love to the music of our happiness each night, I felt like a master lover and a pro at life. And somehow this seemed just right and enough to me. Life seemed just right and enough to me. I mean, who would want more? Oh wait! I am drifting a bit again. This is about her, not me.

Her smile had the power of an uncontrolled fission reaction. And she knew exactly how to control it, and make it work. So this was the time my transformation had already begun, under the auspice of her smile. Her gentle unspoken need for more life, was metamorphosing me into my Acid Bug self. She taught me how to live more than what I otherwise did. She taught me the 'thirst'. And she taught me how to go ahead and quench it.
She was living her wild dream fearlessly, and had the comfort of hiding herself in my arms whenever she felt the need. This was the most fulfilling time of our lives, so far. For her, because she felt like she was making progress on her journey in search of happiness. And for me, because I was relishing the excitement of it all.

Love has a strange beauty that can’t be captured in words, but has been attempted time and again. To her love felt something like this. "What seems so right, actually turns out to be right, and it just goes on and on, forever."

*Dream Sequence Ends*

She did see the beauty of contentment and peace, while indulging in excitement and thirst. I knew this was the path to her happiness, and it beautifully balanced her life. I felt so powerful and confident that I wanted to take her to destination 'Happiness' right away! But I soon realized that, her happiness was in looking for it. And this 'soon' was probably a little 'late'.

It was all too beautiful and too perfect, and nothing so perfect could last forever... or could it?

The Acid Bug Realisations Series™ : LIFE

Its that period of time in which you feel you have either "gained & lost" or "lost & gained", and are now back to where it all started.

The Music & The Mornings

We used to sleep with the music on. She, doesn't do it anymore. She told me when she saw me doing it still.

She used to like waking up to the Top Gun Theme by Joe Satriani. She didnt love waking up itself though. Nice warm crispy butter toast 'served' along with tea, helped her open her eyes and allow the day to begin. She didnt like doing it. But she did like not liking doing it. Or so I thought, as it made me smile.It happened everyday.

For me, waking up early was a pleasure. The mornings used to be nice there. Green, cold, with a little sunshine. Lots of green, with a few flowers hanging by them. Red brick building walls. Narrow, tidy, curvy, cemented pathways through the greens and the buildings. More red brick buildings. A hammock hanging by a luscious trees. Mostly empty except for a few early risers. Still struggling to wake up, walking slowly with mugs in hands, and at times a cigarette. Hoods, shorts, slippers, spaghetti tops, tracks, half open eyes, tangled hair, and a genuine but effortful smile once in a while. Mostly quiet, a few birds making their presence felt. A little gentle music from some odd window on the ground floor.

Walking upto the cafeteria for the nice warm crispy butter toast was a routine. A couple of lazy g'mornins shared with a broad smile. The broad smile was usually only on my face. And yes, it used to be broad.
Sitting and enjoing my first cup of morning tea. All by myself and my thoughts. It was a nice start to the day. Then walking back with two plates and two mugs. A few more lazy g'mornings, and this time their smiles were a little more visible than before. Still not as broad as mine.

I'd enter the room. Say something sweet. The time in between she-is-asleep and she-is-awake was special. She would be sedate and therefore manageable. I'd get her to have something before the day started. Her days were hyper. Full of rush, activity, panic, work and a struggle to do better in every moment she had. Thats how she is and I know it paid off.

And I know it was the best time we had, for different reasons. Mornings were the day for me. And my day almost ended when her started. I'd then look forward to the night.

She, I think, is still like this for most part of her days. Just that, the nights are different. She doesnt sleep with the music on any more.

The Acid Bug Realisations Series™ : LEARNING

What have I learned from my past relationships?

That relationships dont teach you anything much, that you otherwise could not have learned through other people or heresay!

You dont get into a relationship to learn. But to live.

Dream, and they might come true!

She has been away from him for quiet a while now. 'Away' in every sense of the word.

Given that he had the line, 'Away Is A Bad Word', written in bold red in the center of his hostel room wall, this would have been a very difficult time for him. But fortunately, he is accustomed to living like this, since the first time she went away. Practice does make a man perfect.

He did not expect to dream of her though. He did not expect such a severe setback to his peaceful existence. His peaceful existence which is already fragile enough to be affected by a harmless couple walking on the street. And here was an explicit dream, detailed enough for him remember and real enough for him to wake up with that expression of rage mixed with a gritty loss bearing smile. Such feelings had become very rare now, but when they occured, they were strong enough to still make him seek solace in drinking from his favorite mug in the middle of the day.
He dreamt of making a call to her to tell her about something very practical. Something to do with...
...and while he was thinking this, she called. For real. And she said she is around. And that she would like to meet.

Well, the dream was about how thirsty she has been for love. That she needed someone to hold her and protect her. Her lips were parched when his touched them for the first time. And then, in the dream itself, he lived 2 lives. One making her parched lips wet, slowly. And the other, of getting her to feel at peace with everything around her.

The first life was as long as the second one!

And then he looks back at reality. Its moving. Still no destination in sight. But slither ahead it shall! because, you never know, when a dream might come true.

The Acid Bug Realisations Series™ : PERFECTION

I saw you when you were pretty, smart and intelligent. And I fell in love with you. I have known you when you were irrational, nagging and unreasonable. And I still kept loving you more.

Neither are you perfect, nor am I. And this life never will be.

And therefore, for me, you'll always be the perfect one.

Are You Happy?

Bugvoiceover

Hi.

I am the Acid Bug. And I am not an insect. I was born this way, the type of human that I am. And I was happy.

Happy, untill the day I realised my self. My Acid Bug Self. And there was someone who made me realise it. I would like to believe that I was happier after that. And I do believe it. Just that there are so many things I believe, that it all gets mixed up sometimes. Beliefs, I think, are a very good substitute to reality.

This is not about me though. Its about her. She, who is more refreshing than a mint on a hilly winter morning. She, who feels more warm than the crisp sun warmed towel right after a shower. She, who is the brightest star you can see, even on a cloudy night. And since you know that nights are mostly cloudy, you find comfort in her mere existence. She is that thin line of difference that exists between sharing a song because you love it, and sharing a song because you want someone else to love it. She likes being innocent and not being aware of it. And because she likes it, you know that she is not that innocent after all. And above all this, she loves to live life like a piece of fiction.

But all these are descriptors. The most important thing that defines her is that she wanted to be happy. Always.

Without being judgemental, let me tell you that she fell in love. Strangely enough, with me, the Acid Bug. I dont know if it was good, bad, meant to be, or how exactly did it impact her search for happiness. It just was. And it stayed.

Now, here we have two individuals, one of whom IS happy, and the other who WANTS to be happy. Where does one go from here?